Well, she outdid herself once again.  I was so excited for my appointment with Nicci.  My hair color had faded enough that the people who know me well were asking when I was going to get it done again – and strangers were back to treating me like crap more often than not.  Two days ago I had another what I like to call “drive-by assault” in the parking lot at my job.  I was standing outside having a cigarette break and this homeless man with a grocery cart walked through.  He apparently thought it was well in his right to make fun of me and comment on my facial hair.  He was actually rather hostile.  Fortunately, I was not alone and therefore the incident was over sooner rather than later.

 At any rate, it was time…

She was running late when I arrived.  She had to take a friend to the hospital and was rather distracted with that drama for a while.  This didn’t stop her from getting to work on my hair though.

She mixed up two bowls of color right away are started painting them onto my head.  I couldn’t tell what either color was as she didn’t exactly show me and they don’t turn out looking like they look in the bowl anyhow.  It looked like one was a green tint of some sort and the other one appeared to be a light blue or purple of sorts.  I remembered the color from last summer suddenly…  That was a fierce one too.

She added layer after layer of aluminum foil…  I didn’t understand what she was doing.  She would lift up a layer of hair and add one of the colors all along the scalp for about and inch or inch and a half.  Then she would add the other color on the last inch or more of that section of hair.  I didn’t understand why that was happening.  I could not picture what she was doing.

She painted on one color all along the lower half of my head.  This was the same color that ended up on the tips as well.

She rinsed my hair.  I had to sit under the dryer for a bit until it was time to start the next phase.  I hadn’t seen it yet and was excited to do so.  However, when I got back in the chair, it looked different but there wasn’t any real color.  And she immediately started out again.  I lost track of whether or not there were two new bowls of color or just one.  By then, we were chatting about our lives and I sort of stopped paying attention to her process.  This time though the color in the bowl was bright.  It was sort of pink but sort of not.  I was excited to see it though.

Once she finished up, she had me go to the sink again to wash my hair.  I was finally going to see it.  Once again, it is tricky to describe.  But it was fierce and fun to have the initial unveiling if you will when I got back to her station.  It was time for the cut.  She took her time and was rather detailed with the scissors here and there.  She had mentioned the last time she cut my hair that she was going to let it grow out a bit.  It took me a while after that cut to realize by “growing out” that she meant the stripe of “mohawk action” as she had cut the sides short still.  I have had a fo-hawk (how do you spell that?) of sorts for quite a while now.  But I still had hair on the sides of my head.  She cut away for quite some time and then I thought she was done.  However, she stood there looking at my head and running her fingers through it a bit and I could tell she had something on her mind and wasn’t exactly happy with the situation.  I finally broke the silence and just said she could do whatever she was thinking.  She was hesitant for a second and then went at my head again.  She was seriously trimming and cutting down the sides.  I was left with what I will call a “mostly-hawk”.  I wouldn’t consider it a total mohawk because I classify that as having one’s head mostly shaved along the sides.

So the color, the final masterpiece this time… imagine the cut first.  I would say I have about three inches of “hawk” happening up there – all along the front, top and down the back.  The sides of my hair are very short and the color is intensely dark.  I asked Nicci if it was brown or black as I couldn’t tell.  “Technically it is a brown, but it is dark enough that it appears black” was her answer.  So the overall look of the color is a dark, deep shade of brownish blackish color.  Now imagine the three-inch stripe all up and proud – in a fabulous, bright, fierce shade of some sort of pink, magenta, fuchsia something or other.  Again, it looks different at every angle to some degree.  But then imagine that the tips, say the last inch or so of the “hawk” is the same dark color as the base.  So the pink is there and bright and amazing but it is melded in with wisps of the dark color.  It is truly difficult to describe.

It will be interesting to see if the pattern of people treating me better when I have brightly colored hair continues given that my cut is a bit more intense.  I have a feeling people will jump to judge the mostly-hawk rather than purely being distracted by the fabulous color.

I don’t really care though.  I love it.  It is fun to look at in the mirror.  It is fun to play with and style.  It is fun…

I have an appointment with Nicci tomorrow to get my hair colored again.  I have no idea what she has in mind this time but she informed me after my last hair cut that she already knew then what color was next.  I am down to lighter pink/blondish highlights at this point.  People have a hard time believing me when I say that I let Nicci do whatever she wants to do and decide the color etc for me.  But it is certainly a lot of fun trusting her enough to allow that and then to see what creativity follows.  I have been asked several times recently when I am coloring it again and what the color will be.  I remind people that it is a surprise to me as well and then ask them to guess.  So far, purple is by far the leading guess with a close second being blue.  I personally think she is going to do something funky with more than one color this time.  We’ll see…

OK, Nicci outdid herself this time with a fierce new color.  She mixed up different shades to create her own color.  Even the other stylists were asking her what it was and commenting on my hair as they walked by.  It is brite, brite, brite.  I would like to say it is pink but it actually has a reddish color to it too.  It was such a fun color that she decided she needed to add some to her own hair.  So I helped her pin a section of her hair back and then she put some of the new color on a chunk of her bangs.  It was of course a pleasant experience to be able to leave work early and have her listen to my recent woes and offer support.  I was looking forward to the appointment all day.  It is so nice to be able to go somewhere like that and be treated well and smiled at by nearly everyone.  I say nearly everyone as there was one customer – I assume the mom of a teenage daughter who was getting her hair done – who sat opposite of Nicci’s station.  I tried to ignore her but every time I looked around she was giving me the evil eye.  It was easier to dismiss her meanness though having overheard her picky demands about what she expected for her daughters new hair cut.  She was completely rude to the stylist.  So I figure she is just a bitter mean person and that is why she gave me the evil stares instead of the smiles that everyone else was unable to avoid when they saw the fabulous color I am now sportin’.

My friend’s daughter is five and every time I call my friend and her daughter asks who she is talking to – her second question is asking what color my hair is now.  I told her today that we are getting a new color and promised to visit her soon so that she can see it.  She had predicted brown spots with pink stripes.  That would have been interesting 🙂

I have had a lot happening lately but nothing I feel ready to write about yet.  And, once I stop for a while – it is difficult to come back to the website.  I decided to take the opportunity to write about my hair today and perhaps I will get back on track soon.  So, I saw Nicci today.  It was good to see her of course.  I wanted to cry the second I saw her but I kept it together.  She was sweet and entertaining and supportive.  She only had time for a cut though.  I was kind of relieved as part of me wanted a new color and part of me wasn’t quite ready.  Believe it or not, the pink highlights are still there.  They are, of course, rather faded by now and even look more blonde in some light.  It’s all good though.  And we scheduled a time for color.  And she knows how much my life has been changing and said we will have to do something that is the best color job so far.  I asked her to let it grow out some so she just trimmed it all over.  Simple…  Helpful…

So you are probably wondering what the topic is – or you know and you want to know why I have put this into the “hair” category.  Here’s the deal, I went to a Ludacris concert recently.  Google him if you don’t know who I am talking about.  It was somewhat going to be a fun event and somewhat a work event.  I am not sure how or if I would share the story from either of those angels.  However, I can write about the connection to the event and my hair.  And how I was treated becuase of it.

So here goes…

Hopefully, you have read the “pink highlights” story already.  What I did not clarify in that story was that this particular hair style was done specifically with Ludacris in mind.  The event was supposed to happen on November 10th but was bumped because Ludacris ended up hosting Saturday Night Live that weekend.  I had set up my hair color appointment for the 9th via Nicci’s advice so that we could have a solid hair ‘do’ for the Ludacris event.  At the time, I had been told I would have part in doing a training on HIV to the staff and performers at this event (including Ludacris).  When the date got changed, I decided to go ahead with my scheduled hair appointment.  I didn’t know if or when the event would happen for sure.

I did not know until less than a week before for certain.  It was questionable up until days before whether the training would occur or not.

I learned a few hours before the concert that I was going to stand on stage at midnight, right before Ludacris would perform, in front of a possible crowd of 4,000.  yikes…

We were to meet up with the head of security when we arrived.  He had been alerted to watch for ‘a woman with a beard’ and “just in case there are more than one women with a beard, she is the one with pink highlights in her hair”.  Indeed, the hair helped me stand out enough, amazingly in that crowd, to not be hassled by the security dude.

The hair… it got me some excellent looks and very nice compliments throughout the night.  Thank God too, any amount of ego boost was helpful in getting the nerve to stand up on the stage.  I don’t know if Ludacris saw my hair at all but the rest of the crowd did.  And I know it looked good.  Thank God, I needed to feel pretty that night…

PS I got my hair cut tonight.  The pink highlights are still fabulous and bright.  Nicci said it was OK to use her name now so I won’t have to keep refering to her as the woman who does my hair.  She rocks.

I have to admit, I was missing the pink.  When I was getting dressed this morning and remembering that I had a hair appointment for a new color I thought of the color pink.  I have so many beautiful shirts that go well with pink.  Of course, those of you who know me well know that I don’t verbally request any color, haven’t for years.  I fully trust the woman who does my hair.  I know she has to be thrilled with the opportunity to do whatever she wants to do and allow her brilliant creativity to shine.  I trust her with my hair.  I trust her.

So I had no idea what color I would end up with by the end of the night.

I walked in to the salon and she was at the front desk, greeted me and we walked back to her station.  She knew exactly what she was going to do to my hair.  I could tell.  I don’t remember what all she said verbatim but she let me know how exciting it was going to be.

She put on her gloves.  The colors had already been mixed up before my arrival.  She was prepared.  She got busy with whatever she does.  I normally pay attention as much as possible to the process.  I admit it, I am fascinated with it all and would love to “do” hair.

I noticed some tin foil going on up there and felt the coolness of the dye sinking in.  But I started talking to her and didn’t pay attention much at all to what she was doing.  I like the surprise.

She is a wonderful listener.  She remembers all the players and themes in my life.  She got an ear full today.  At some point, she took me to the sink and rinsed out my hair.  The conversation paused when she had me back in the chair and had to go get something from the other room.  At that point, I looked in the mirror.  My hair had been a rather dark red with some black undertone.  It had faded into a wonderful brownish reddish color.  With whatever highlights she had just added, it reminded me even more of the leaves fallen all over, or holding on still, this season.  It seemed a melting of red, orange, yellow and brown.  It was incredible.

She returned and I made a comment about how wonderful it looked.  “I know right?  You just wait!”

I resumed to talking about my life.  I noticed she had another bowl of color and the brushing on of a brilliant pink began.

The pressure steadily deflated as the appointment went on.  I am not sure what is more helpful in the process.  Certainly, the counselor-like-patience and listening skills are helpful.

I also tend to believe pink has an incredibly healing quality about it.

I admit that I fought my love for pink for many years but I have admitted to myself and come out of the “pink lover’s closet”.  I no longer hide my pink.  I wear it whenever I want to.  And one of my all time favorite hair colors was when she did it solid pink all over.  It was wonderful.

And the general public treated me better – but that is another story.

I walked out of the salon tonight with darker hair.  I haven’t looked at it enough to see if it is more black than brown or vice versa, or both for that matter.  It is different from every angle but the overall essence of the hair cut is a darker shade.  But then, bright pink highlights.  Bright.  Pink.

I love it.  It makes me happy.  More people will smile at me.  And when I am stressed out in the upcoming months, the pink will help me feel my strength.

Think pink…

It may seem crazy, but, my hair deserves its own category.  I sat down to write the Pink Highlight story tonight and couldn’t decide what category to put it into.  Initially, I just knew I wanted to share the story.  Then I remembered I should choose a category if I can.  I thought about putting it into the “health” category.  I do believe that having one’s hair “done” by the right person is very healing on a physical and mental level at the very least.  I have as much, if not more, relief from a hair cut as I get from a massage or acupuncture treatment.

I could also have put it into the “gender” category.  I have spoken or written about countless stories in the last several years about how I am treated by the general public, by anyone who doesn’t know me, depending on my hair.  The length of it has had a great deal of power during different phases of my life.  The cut of course.  I have had a lot of styles.  A lot.  I have also had a lot of colors and the color also changes how people treat me.  Eventually, I will share specific examples that back up my theory that people are nicer to me when I have wild colors in my hair.

I could write about my hair in the “family/friends” category as I value my hair person in my inner circle of support.  I have a friend who referred to herself once as a “hair slut”.  She goes to a different person every time she gets it cut.  I am the opposite of this.  I have to have complete trust and faith in whoever I am going to let touch my hair.  It isn’t about their skills as a hair stylist either (although this is a bonus).  Once I find the right person, I am devoted to them.  I know that this is appreciated.  And once they trust that I mean it when I say that they can do whatever they want… they are free to be creative.  It also goes well when they understand that I won’t “cheat” on them and show up at the salon in someone else’s chair.

I have written one essay titled “Hair” and it is published on the Sexing the Political (STP) website.  I am going to leave that one in the “Wollner’s Writing” category since it was published.

But I will write about my hair in its own category now and, over time, you will understand more clearly as to why it stands alone as a key topic in my life. Stay tuned for pink highlights…